You know, it is almost impossible to describe it if you don’t feel it on your own. There are like hundreds of movies, thousands of songs, millions of stories and books about it.
Happy? Sad? Lucky? Nervous? Powerful? Insecure? Calm? Confident? Lonely? Afraid? Cheerful? Silent? Alive?
It can be kind of a roller coaster of feelings sometimes. You can go from insecure and afraid to powerful and confident in just one second. Or from lonely to happy over the course of some days.
It can not only change your feelings in such different ways. It can also change your character, how you behave and how you act in front of and with others. You may be that type of person that is very nervous and with little self-confidence. But after some months you become an open and calm person. This thing I am talking about can make you do an u-turn right away. In every possible direction you can think of. You may feel more powerful than before. Changing the world-powerful, maybe. Start again with sport to be more self-confident. Grow a beard to stop looking like a teenager. Eat healthy. Donate blood. Donate money to charity. Help your old neighbors with their groceries. Join Greenpeace. Boycott Nestle.
It can make you a better person. Not for someone else, for sure. But this magic can make you a better version of yourself.
When you are alone, there will always be that one single feeling, maybe not that strong but in the background: You know that someone special is missing. Feeling tired and empty, stressed or annoyed. Getting that special someone back is all you want, no matter what you have to do for it. You would travel all around the world. Knock out some shady gangsters. Rob a bank. Take a spoon of cinnamon. Eat a raw egg. Swim with crocodiles and wrestle with a grizzly. Play 8 hours of chess against the computer – without a break. Write an essay about the french revolution or sing the most annoying song you know in front of your family. You would do everything to be with him or her.
Then you are really mad about everything. It’s the fault of everything that you can’t be with him or her. The bus back home that is stuck in traffic. The traffic jam that made the bus get stuck. All the other drivers in that cars. That one car that caused the traffic jam. The stone that caused the flat tire on that car. Hell, the devil himself must have put that stone on the road!
Counting seconds. Minutes. Hours. Days. You count until you have that person back in your arms.
And then it happens. It could be the train station in the summer. The parking lot of a mall in the rain. The bus station down the road while the winter hit your city hard, it’s ice cold and the road is slippery as hell. It does not matter where. Or when. Or how. When you meet this one person, nothing else matters. You walk upon each other and start to smile. Or you could run. Or stay still and let him or her come to you. In that moment when your arms close behind that persons back for a hug, time stops for a second. Cars, trucks, the people in the nearby Cafe, a musician or the train: no matter how loud it is, for a second you won’t notice anything else around you. Your brain stopped working and your heart takes control. A deep breath, you felt the near and you release the person.
A deep look into each others eyes. Smile on each faces. You are both happy to see each other. Then a kiss. Time stops again. Butterflies.. in.. your.. stomach. Whoever put them in there, they seem to be as happy you are right now and dance to the main theme of Dirty Dancing.
And whatever you do in the next minutes, hours or days when you are together, you simply enjoy it. Sitting on a bench without talking. Listening to music. Talking about politics, the weather or God. Eating pizza. Watching a silly movie. Searching for a new flat. Discussing income gaps in the society and how bad Trump is. Playing video games. Raging about how bad The Sims has become.
Whatever you do, you are with your darling. You can feel how that magic fills your body and makes you the happiest person in the world.
It is magic.
Like a twisting whirl of flowers that pushes you forward.
Like your own small Jazz band, playing for you the whole time.
Like that sweet snuggly cat that stays with you on the way to the bus.
Like tweeting little birds in the trees and bushes wherever you go.
Like fresh breezes of air on a heavy hot summer day.
Like the sun shining even if it’s raining.
Like paradise running trough your veins.
And you know what this magic is called? Love.
For Vanessa.
